Your whole life, your mother or father has been there to care for you, protect you, and help you navigate both the good times and the bad. So, it can be difficult to suddenly make the realization that the roles must be reversed, and you must now be the one to care for them because they can’t do it on their own any longer.
There are many emotional and practical challenges that must be overcome in the face of a parent’s declining independence, but we hope that we can offer some assurance and confidence as you move forward into what may be a discouraging time, full of uncertainty.
In this blog, we’ll help you understand how you can prioritize planning for the future and take proactive steps to ensure the safety and well-being of your elderly parent.
Assessing Your Parent’s Needs
One of the first steps for getting your parent the help they need is to determine exactly what level of care they require. If there are still some daily tasks that they can handle on their own, they will likely not be happy with too much care, and at the same time, if they do need a more holistic level of care, you want to make sure they have it, or else their safety and well-being might be at risk.
This means thoroughly evaluating their physical, mental, and emotional health, which may warrant the need for professional assessments from doctors, social workers, or geriatric care managers. They will then be able to recommend the level of care required for your loved one, such as assisted living, respite care, memory care, or nursing care, based on the following factors:
- Behavioral and cognitive condition
- Medical concerns and healthcare needs
- Personal care needs (hygiene, dietary requirements, etc.)
- Mobility level and functional capabilities, and
- Any required special support (oxygen, wheelchairs, medications, etc.).
Maintaining Open Communication With Your Parent
Another step you should take as soon as you can is to discuss the situation with your parent so that you can not only be as transparent as possible, but understand their thoughts and preferences regarding their care. It can be extremely challenging to balance respect for their autonomy with their need for safety, but it is important for maintaining the trust and dignity that exists within your relationship.
It can also be difficult to navigate helping your parent understand what is happening if they have conditions like dementia or Alzheimer’s. Choosing the right time (when your parent is more lucid and responsive) and place (a familiar, comfortable setting where they feel safe) is imperative, as is using gentle and reassuring language.
You should approach the conversation with empathy, and realize that this is probably a tough time for them, as well. No one wants to lose their independence or be told that they aren’t doing a good job taking care of themselves, so it’s crucial for you to acknowledge your parent’s concerns while you express your worries about their well-being. This may be overwhelming for them, and it’s likely overwhelming for you, too, so remember to be patient with them and with yourself.
Exploring Care Options
Once you have had an open and honest conversation with your parent, you can begin to explore the available care options that can provide them with the support they need. Depending on their health and financial situation, you’ll have a range of choices to consider, including:
In-home care – An option that offers personalized care for your parent in the comfort of their own home is suitable if they need help with daily tasks but still want to maintain some of their independence, and which could vary from part-time care to full-time assistance.
Assisted living facility – An option that offers individuals a community environment with support for daily living activities is ideal for parents who need moderate help with tasks such as bathing, dressing, or medication management, and includes lots of potential for activities and social opportunities.
Nursing home – An option that offers round-the-clock medical care and assistance with all activities of daily living is designed for parents with significant health issues who need comprehensive, long-term care, and provides skilled nursing services and constant monitoring.
Adult day care – This option offers a safe environment for elderly individuals during daytime hours, and it is ideal for parents who can still live at home but need supervision or social interaction while family caregivers are at work, and includes activities, meals, and basic medical care.
Independent living communities – An option that is suitable for healthy seniors who want a more community-oriented lifestyle and which offers social activities, meal plans, and maintenance-free living, but which does not include a considerable amount of medical or personal care for residents.
Family caregiver support – This isn’t always an option for every family, but it may be possible that a family member volunteers to provide care, either part-time or full-time. While it can offer a smoother transition for your aging parent because they may feel more comfortable with a familiar face, it can be emotionally and physically demanding for the caregivers.
Legal Considerations And Estate Planning
If your parent has not already created a comprehensive estate plan or taken other legal actions to get their affairs in order, this is something that should be done before their transition or soon after it, especially if their health or independence is rapidly declining. If they do already have an estate plan, they should take the time to review it and revise it, if necessary, to reflect their most current wishes and needs.
A skilled estate planning attorney can assist both your parent and you in ensuring that they have all the necessary documents to protect their assets and plan for the future, including:
- A will – a document in which a person lists all their assets, property, and possessions, as well as their heirs
- A simple family trust (or combination of several trusts) – a financial entity to which a person transfers their assets to be managed for the benefit of their heirs, and which bypasses the probate process (which means the assets are able to be quickly and efficiently transferred after the owner’s death)
- Power of attorney – documents which allow a person to authorize a trusted individual to make financial and legal decisions on their behalf, and which are especially vital for an aging parent who may not be able to take care of important tasks on their own anymore (such as managing finances)
- Advance directives (or living will) – a collection of documents which outline a person’s preferences for medical care, artificial life support, and end-of-life care, to be referenced in the event that they become incapacitated and unable to speak for themselves
When You Need Compassionate Service During A Difficult Time, Choose Karpel Law Firm. You Don’t Have To Go Through This Alone!
In a time full of uncertainty and emotional challenges, you deserve to have some peace of mind for the future. Our experienced California estate planning attorneys are here to support you as you face this next chapter. We know you want the best for your parent, no matter the circumstances, because it’s what they’ve done for you your whole life. We will explain your parent’s options in a way that’s easy to understand so that you both have full clarity about the decisions at hand and their implications.
Call today to book your free consultation and learn more about how we can make the estate planning process as comfortable and promising as possible!